Complicated Caring

So I was told that I keep bringing myself down by allowing myself to be put out there to be torn down. I am a helper. I just want to help. I want to make people's lives better. I want to be a lover. And the minute that bitterness and dislike start to slip out of view, the lover in me takes over, and the whole process just happens again. Over and over, time after time, my heart swells and then breaks... I don't think it's going to stop. I don't think it can stop b/c I'm meant to love and I don't want to stop that. I just need to find people that want my love, the large amounts I have. And boys out there need to realize that just b/c I hang out with you and hug you and love you, doesn't mean I want to get with you. Dang it. I am the same friend with or without a man in my life. I want friends. I don't want boys who wanna get lucky to try to act like my friends. I want those good intentions b/c those are the only ones that I'm giving out. Ugh. Right now I just wanna fight, then cry, then hug and love. B/c no matter how bad things get, or how sad I am. I will always love and I can't stop it. Dang it. Sometimes I wish I could care less....