Memories

So I've realized that watching a taylor swift video when you don't feel the best physically and you've been drinking wine, is NOT a good idea. There is only so much my heart can handle. And as much as that amount has been growing lately, it still has it's limits. And right now I've reached it for the day... this started out being a reminiscent  time about a few memories that I can't get out of my head... and I'm just gonna throw those out there right now... There's many memories that I've wanted... and I've had to create them for myself... like the time that my initials were carved in wood with another persons with a heart in the middle... I had to do it... like the time I laid in the hammock with someone beside me... b/c I'd begged for it for hours, like the first time I held your hand walking down the street, b/c i grabbed it and you were tipsy, like the time when we were alone in the middle of the lake on your boat, b/c no one else could go and you didn't want to miss a day,  like going skinny dipping for the first time, b/c i guilted you into it and no one else was around, like toasting to our everlasting love and getting married, b/c I was sick of the path of our life.... And my favorite memory ever is the time when a country cd was put on and you held your hand out to me and we slow danced in your living room... and that is the one memory that i did nothing to create... it was pure bliss and my heart holds onto that forever. And there are so many others that I try to push back and forget and right now they're all coming at once and I seriously just want no b sad any more. After someone turns their back on you, and discontinues all contact, it honestly BREAKS my heart. And I'm gonna go cry it out in the shower... But every day the sun rises and every night the stars are out.... no matter the cloud coverage... So I just need to work on getting rid of the cloud coverage!